Labels: Jedi Justifications
Scenario: You see a co-worker stealing loose change out of other worker’s desks. He does not know that he has been detected doing this. You have become good friends with this co-worker outside of the workplace. What do you do about what you have seen?
The Riddler: Oh how I do love puzzles, conundrums, and the like! This one presents a most appealing scenario to me. Anytime you see someone in the midst of petty larceny it is best to play upon any conscience they may have with little tricks that lead to ever crueler manipulation of your knowledge of their activities. First you drop subtle hints by saying things like, “I think I will take my break at the QUARTER of the hour.”, or “I think I need to CHANGE a few things around the office.” It is always fun to watch them pretend it does not bother them at all. Then after that has softened the little thief up a bit start leaving notes that suggest that they are being watched. Leave voice mails or anonymous emails sent from the public library computers to tell them they are being watched. It is such sport to see people crack up under pressure!
Greetings and welcome to the first ever episode of Half-Ass Roundtable, the first podcast of The JediCole Universe! JediCole is joined by his HAR co-hosts Andrew Farmer of The United States of Geekdom and Stuart Baulk of The Midnight Movie Cowboys. We are joined in the inaugral episode by the originator of the USG, Rick Gutierrez.
|HAP - The Mascot of Half-Ass Productions|
A second episode has already been recorded and will appear on this website very soon.
Labels: Half-Ass Roundtable
Welcome once again to The Apocrypha, your resource for news and stories that never really occured. In the last edition I treated you to a mythological tale that I had written some years ago. This time I have a more recent story that, like the previous one, had its geneis in a conversation with Mrs. JediCole. There really is no more set up necessary as the tale takes care of itself in that department.
Labels: The Apocrypha
They are evil. They are treacherous. They are nasty, cruel, scheming, and not at all nice. They are the villains of the comic books! And select members of their malicious fraternity are invited each week to share their thoughts on how they would handle a day to day or ethical situation.
The best way to combat evil is to understand evil. By discovering how the mind of arch-criminals works we might better understand how to defeat them. With that in mind I offer up this week's scenario for our select panel of super-villains.
Scenario: You hear the cries of a kitten nearby. Looking around you do not see the source of this sound until you chance to look upward into the foliage tree. Standing in the fork of two high branches is a tiny tabby kitten frantically calling out for help in its predicament. What do you do?
Ocean Master: A kitten? Seriously?! I'm Ocean Mater! I spend like 95% of my time under water! Do you have any idea how many kittens are stuck in trees at the bottom of the sea? I'll give you a hint. The number rhymes with "hero"! Honestly! I mean I could have been jovial and said something like, "Well if I found a baby catfish stuck in a tree coral I would do this..." You get the idea. How patently ridiculous was this question to ask me? You couldn't just wait for the question about someones jewelry falling overboard from a boating excursion and it being discovered on the sea floor with their phone number engraved on it could you? No, not at all! I be Black Manta gets invited to that one. That is just so typical! Do you realize how few undersea villains there are? There's a reason we don't have a League of Aquatic Evil you know! There aren't enough of us to pay the rent on a submersible headquarters! So say hi to Manta for me. That was sarcasm by the way...
Blastarr: BLAST! BLAST! BLAST! BLAAAAAAAAAST! Awwww! BLAST!
Copperhead: I would run. Run away as quickly as possible. Um, to get help. Help to get the kitten down. The little thing must be so scared and unsure of itself. Someone should do something about that! What? Why don't I slither up the tree and back down again carrying it to safety? I'm a super villain! Do you think I took the name of a venomous North American snake because I wanted to seem approachable! I am the epitome of evil! My heart is as frigid as Arctic pack ice and my soul is as black as the void! And...I'm afraid of cats. Okay?! Are you happy? You just pried and pried until you drug that out of me. Yeah the great and mighty Copperhead is afraid of cats! Lots of people are you know.
MODOK: Like my fellow super-villains I would use every means at my disposal to rescue the infant cat. NO! I most certainly did not read their replies in advance! I merely utilized my genetically enhanced super-intelligence to glean their reactions based on an intense psychological study of each that took less than one trillionth of a second to calculate. That aside I would utilize that self same hyper intelligence to aid me in using the A.I.M. technology at my disposal to enhance the genetic structure of the young animal allowing it to grow to many times its normal size. It's developing body would express bullet-proof armor instead of fur. It's eyes would be capable of projecting deadly laser beams and its purr would create glass-shattering resonances. It's indestructible claws would cut through thick reinforced steel like butter. And it would be my loyal companion in all of my nefarious deeds. Wow! I just read everyone else's replies (I am capable of formulating my own before viewing theirs) and that Copperhead one really took me by surprise!